


Ending in Flames

by ispeakforthesharks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dark, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Book 2: Wayward Son, Sad Ending, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ispeakforthesharks/pseuds/ispeakforthesharks
Summary: I feel the moment when my magic runs dry. When the tap doesn't turn off, but it has no more to draw from. Instead, it starts taking the next available thing; my life force. It goes so rapidly I don't have time to think about it.I always thought I would die by Baz's hands; I always thought he'd die by mine. I'm glad I was wrong._If Simon had died in the battle at the White Chapel.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Ending in Flames

**Simon**  
  


My magic is pouring out of me, and I can't make it stop. I've turned the tap, and I couldn't turn it back if I wanted to. The Humdrum is nothing but mist in my hands, but somehow my magic is still flowing.   
  
  
We're in the White Chapel. The windows are shattered, and I'm not sure where the blood on my hands came from. Am I bleeding? I don't remember. The only thing I can focus on right now is defeating the Humdrum. I'm not even sure that's the proper term. We can't blame him for becoming what he is. It's my fault. The Humdrum is me. I'm just fixing the mess that I made.  
  
  
I'm vaguely aware of more people coming into the attic, but I can't tell who they are. The room feels like it's full of smoke. I can't even see the Humdrum in front of me. Is he still there? Did I do it? But the magic is still leaving through my hands, and it's not stopping.  
  
  
I'm starting to feel light-headed. My vision is rapidly getting dimmer. Maybe the room isn't full of smoke, after all. I think I might pass out.  
  
  
I feel the moment when my magic runs dry. When the tap doesn't turn off, but it has no more to draw from. Instead, it starts taking the next available thing; my life force. It goes so rapidly I don't have time to think about it.  
  
  
I always thought I would die by Baz's hands; I always thought he'd die by mine. I'm glad I was wrong.

  
**Baz**  
  
When Bunce and I find Simon, he is facing the Humdrum and holding him in a death grip. The Humdrum looks translucent. Simon looks pale. The Mage is behind them, trying to pry Simon away from whatever he's doing, but Simon doesn't care or doesn't notice.  
  
  
"Simon!" Bunce yells. He doesn't look over at us.  
  
  
The whole room reeks of Simon's magic. I've been exposed to it more than anyone else has—besides the exception of Bunce—and even I can hardly stand the sheer amount of it. I cough, but it doesn't clear out of my lungs. The air is full of it.  
  
  
I squint through the light and haze surrounding Simon and see that he has massive, leathery wings sprouting from his shoulders. A matching spaded tail is coming from his lower back. He reminds me of the dragon we fought that day on the Great Lawn. Simon has never excelled at magic, but I am confident that there are no spells for that.  
  
  
Bunce tips beside me, and I swoop to catch her. "Do you think we should stop him?" she asks. I glance back at Simon's face. His eyes are closed in concentration, and his hands are now passing right through the Humdrums middle. Should we stop him? But the decision is made for us. At that moment, the Humdrum entirely disappears, and Simon collapses to the floor.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
The room goes dark. I can't feel Simon's magic anymore.  
  
  
Someone screams.  
  
  
I can't feel Penelope beside me anymore. I can't feel anything. I only see Simon. He's still on the floor. I keep waiting for him to move. I keep waiting for him to stand up and smile. To say that he did it. That defeated the Humdrum and that he's okay. But he never does.  
  
  
I'm by his side in a second, sinking to the ground next to him. I take his hand and press it to my cheek. He's colder than I am. I'm panicking. I pull his hand away from my face and frantically check his pulse. I can't find it. His magic isn't there either. It's not buzzing under his skin like it usually is. But he can't be dead. Simon is the most alive of all of us. He can't be gone.  
  
  
He's supposed to be the hero in this tragedy. He's supposed to save the day and survive through it all.  
  
  
I feel someone shaking me. It's Penelope. I can't look away from Simon, but she puts her face in front of mine. She's crying. I think I might be crying. My face feels wet.  
  
  
"Baz," she says. I barely hear her. I can barely see her. I really am crying.  
  
  
But I can't respond. My heart has just been torn from my chest and shred to pieces in front of me. Simon is everything I've ever known. The day the crucible cast us together, everything came together and came apart all at once. Sharing a room with him was sharing a room with an open flame, and I liked the burn.  
  
  
Simon Snow was so alive.  
  
  
All of the life I was supposed to get was given to him instead.  
  
  
He had my life in him. It wasn't him that was supposed to die. He was supposed to kill me.  
  
  
**Penelope**  
  
When Simon collapsed, Baz screamed. He was crying the minute he realized. I was crying too. Simon never got up. We both kept hoping...  
  
  
But he didn't. I should have taken him away the second I met him. We should have run away to the farthest corner of the world, where the Mage and the Humdrum and the Families couldn't get to him.  
  
  
We were going to go to America. When we graduated. I might still go to see Micah. But maybe I'll ask him to come here instead. I couldn't go without Simon. Not now.  
  
  
The Mage buggered off the second he realized Simon was of no use to him. I know Baz would've killed him if he'd been in his right mind. Instead, Baz sat over Simon, pressing Simon's hand to his face. He wouldn't even look at me.  
  
Now he still won't. It's been an hour. I can't even look at Simon. I couldn't bear to see him like this. I did at first, and I couldn't stop crying. But Simon was so full of life that it's so so wrong to see him lifeless. He was even animated in his sleep, so I can't pretend.  
  
  
I watch Baz instead, though that hurts just as much. He leans down and presses a kiss to Simon's mouth.  
  
  
Oh. So much makes sense now.  
  
  
**Baz**  
  
I press a kiss to Simon's mouth. I was supposed to die kissing him. He was supposed to die kissing me. This is the closest that I'll get.  
  
  
I finally look over at Penelope and catch her watching me. In normal circumstances, I'd raise a brow, but I don't have the energy to pick any fights.  
I shift myself out from under Simon and make my way across the shattered glass on the floor to where she's sitting. I ease down next to her, and she rests her head on my shoulder. I don't shrug her off.  
  
  
It's not dark enough for me to sleep yet, and when it finally is, Penelope is breathing deeply next to me. Asleep then.  
  
  
As I drift off on the edge of the ruined room, I let myself think about Simon Snow one last time. His blue eyes. His bronze curls. I don't have them to hang on to anymore. I could push myself over the edge if I tried. Slip closer to the death I already walk around with.  
  
  
I close my eyes.  
  
  
I always knew this would end in flames.  



End file.
